2. The Vinegar Man
Words* by Ruth Comfort Mitchell (1882-1954)
Music by Richard C. Davis
Narration by Duane Evan Hiatt
The crazy old vinegar man is dead.
He never had missed a day before,
But somebody went to his tumble-down shed
by the haunted house and forced the door.
There in the middle of his pungent pans,
in the murky mess of his mixin' place;
Deep, sticky spiders and empty cans
and the same old frown on his sour old face.
Vinegar, vinegar, vinegar man--
face us and chase us and catch us if you can.
Pepper for a tongue and pickle for a nose.
Stick a pin in him and vinegar flows.
Well, glare at us, swear at us,
catch us if you can.
Catsup and chow-chow
and vinegar man.
Nothin' but recipes and worthless junk.
Greasy ole record books of paid and due.
And down in the depths of a battered old trunk,
a queer, quaint, valentine--torn in two.
Broken hearts and arrows and silver lace . . .
and a prim, dim, ladylike script that said:
"With dearest love, from Ellen to Ned."
Old vinegar man with a sour, old face.
Musty old record book of profit and loss.
Died about Saturday, so they say.
And a prim, dim, ladylike script that said:
"With dearest love, from Ellen to Ned."
Old pepper tongue.
Pickles his heart in brine.
The vinegar man is a long time dead.
He died when he tore his valentine.
(*Used by permission of Appleton-Century)
